Chat Logs
To whom this may concern,
I’m satisfied but nervous about this piece and its meaning to me. The topic I chose to write about is simple: a story about two friends falling out. How I approached it was to remind myself of the bits and pieces I remember from this friendship, which wasn’t easy to do. This piece is not only a reminder of a mistake I committed but also reminds others of their past mistakes. What challenged me the most was if the dialogue carries the story, does it need to be shorter/longer, and is the message conveyed? I took this “creative nonfiction” piece to heart as I don’t think I have seen someone tell a story through chat logs, so I hope this is something new you haven’t seen before. One of my biggest successes was portraying the emotions felt through the messages without being read. I wanted to describe my relationship with my best friend and how fun and different we were. It shows the journey we both went through, and I am proud of it. I could improve by stylizing the chat logs or offering more of the relationship, as I believe the page length constrains me. This does not follow a typical “nonfiction” essay, but I hope it still shows that all this happened. The craft-based questions I have are: which parts need fleshing out? Is more context required for the story? Does the dialogue carry the story? Thanks for reading, and I look forward to hearing your feedback.
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2005
August
PinkGoddess has signed on
PinkGoddess: Yo Oswald, thanks for the contour kit!
GamerGuy42 has signed on
GamerGuy42: No prob, you deserve it for being such a great friend!
I am glad that I gave Gwen the contour kit, despite where we ended.
PinkGoddess: Aw thanks. But you didn’t have to get me anything
GamerGuy42: Nah, my ex didn’t deserve it anyway
PinkGoddess: ugh, don’t even get me started on her
I told her everything. How could I not, she was my best friend in high school.
GamerGuy42: I haven’t talked to her in a while, and I don’t plan to
PinkGoddess: Good call. She was bad news
GamerGuy42: Yeah, but she was my first love. It’s complicated
PinkGoddess: I get it. But I’m glad you have the kit to someone who deserves it LOL
Is it bad to say that Gwen was my second choice? Love can really mess people up
GamerGuy42: Yeah you’re the best
PinkGoddess: Aww thanks again. But now I gotta ask, who was behind me in this “Contour Kit Race”?
GamerGuy42: Haha, no one. You’re the only best friend I’ve got
She was the first of many best friends I went through, but that is a different story
PinkGoddess: That’s what I like to hear
GamerGuy42: So, how are you going to use the kit?
PinkGoddess: Adam. I’m gonna sneak out and see him tonight
I never knew Adam, just saw a photo of him one time so I never knew him
GamerGuy42: Nice. Just don’t get caught like last time
PinkGoddess: Hey, I’ve improved my methods since then!
GamerGuy42: LOL we’ll see about that
She was an extrovert, and I was an introvert. We shouldn’t be compatible but we were, somehow
PinkGoddess: Whatever. I’ll catch you next week, yeah?
GamerGuy42: Definitely. See ya
GamerGuy42 has signed off
PinkGoddess has signed off
2005
December
PinkGoddess has signed on
PinkGoddess: Hey bitch
GamerGuy42 has signed on
GamerGuy42: Really?
PinkGoddess: What’s wrong with that
GamerGuy42: Feel degrading
I actually didn’t mind the “nicknames”. It was special to me because we were close you know?
PinkGoddess: You need to be use to that :D
GamerGuy42: I feel so loved
GamerGuy42: So what are you up to
PinkGoddess: Just sipping on some wine
GamerGuy42: Nice
PinkGoddess: Which reminds me
PinkGoddess: I came up with a couple name
We were never a couple, the thought never crossed our minds. We had a platonic relationship
GamerGuy42: Huh?
PinkGoddess: We have to label our friendship
GamerGuy42: How long have you been drinking that wine?
PinkGoddess: Shut up and listen
PinkGoddess: I’ve thought about it long and hard and I decided…
PinkGoddess: Gwenaldo
GamerGuy42: WTF kind of name is that
I actually liked it, now more than ever
PinkGoddess: A good name
PinkGoddess: When I get a horse that will be one of its name
PinkGoddess: When you and me get drunk and ride horses
GamerGuy42: That is a terrible idea
PinkGoddess: Why not??
GamerGuy42: It is dangerous and stupid
PinkGoddess: You just described our relationship
GamerGuy42: The answer will always be no
PinkGoddess: You are no fun
I was a tight screw back in high school but I’ve loosened up in later years, she was the catalyst
GamerGuy42: Sorry, I just value my safety
PinkGoddess: Yeah yeah, whatever
PinkGoddess: You hyped for Mexico?
GamerGuy42: Kinda
GamerGuy42: Gonna see Reya
PinkGoddess: And you call me stupid
GamerGuy42: We talked things out and we’re good
PinkGoddess: Just don’t do anything I wouldn’t do
GamerGuy42: Like what?
PinkGoddess: Hook up with her
That never happened but I did regret what I did
GamerGuy42: You don’t know me
PinkGoddess: Well, girls can be tempting
GamerGuy42: Sure
PinkGoddess: Saying you go for guys?
GamerGuy42: NO WTF?
GamerGuy42: You’ll blocked
PinkGoddess: :D
GamerGuy42: You’ll miss me though
PinkGoddess: No I won’t
GamerGuy42: Yeah right
PinkGoddess: Ught, stop being a brat
GamerGuy42: Not gonna happen
PinkGoddess: Go fucking take pictures with your fam or something
GamerGuy42: Why
PinkGoddess: Cause of your fucking irritating
GamerGuy42: Well my dad’s here so we’re gonna take some pics and leave
PinkGoddess: Let me know how the trip goes when you’re back
I always remember this conversation because it was on New Year’s which makes it feel special
GamerGuy42: Yeah for sure
PinkGoddess: Love you
GamerGuy42: You ruined it now
GamerGuy42 has signed off
PinkGoddess has signed off
2006
January
PinkGoddess has signed on
PinkGoddess: Hey Oswald you there?
GamerGuy42 has signed on
GamerGuy42: Gwen now is not the time
I knew what she was going to ask me and I didn’t want to deal with it, same problem every time
PinkGoddess: I need your help
GamerGuy42: What’s wrong?
PinkGoddess: It’s about Adam. I can’t stop thinking about him.
I gave her the same advice over and over but she refused to listen. She rejected the reality check
GamerGuy42: Oh Gwen not this again. I’ve told you what to do
PinkGoddess: I know but I can’t break up with him
They weren’t an official couple, they were just flings but she thought it meant more
GamerGuy42: Come on gwen you’re just making excuses
PinkGoddess: It’s not that simple
I know that feeling now
GamerGuy42: Yes it is
PinkGoddess: But I don’t want to hurt him
GamerGuy42: YOU ARE HURTING YOURSELF FOR STAYING WITH HIM
GamerGuy42: HE DOESN’T LOVE YOU HE HAS CHEATED ON YOU WHAT DON’T YOU GET
GamerGuy42: FUCK
I didn’t feel right saying that, I didn’t know how she would take it. I didn’t think it was a big deal
PinkGoddess: Omg Oswald
PinkGoddess has signed off
GamerGuy42: Wait no Gwen come back
GamerGuy42: Gwen?
GamerGuy42: Please?
GamerGuy42: I didn’t mean it like that
2006
February
GamerGuy42 has signed on
GamerGuy42: Gwen?
PinkGoddess has signed on
PinkGoddess: What
That word said everything to me
GamerGuy42: Is everything okay?
PinkGoddess: Yeah
GamerGuy42: Do you want to talk about it?
PinkGoddess: No
GamerGuy42: Okay
I wanted to reach out again but I was those three words alone put me off for so long
GamerGuy42 has signed off
2006
September
RockerDude87 has signed on
RockerDude87: Hey Oswald
GamerGuy42 has signed on
GamerGuy42: What’s up man?
RockerDude87: Did you finish Mrs. Sanchez’s homework?
GamerGuy42: Yeah I just finished
RockerDude87: Nice, can I copy?
GamerGuy42: Sure but can I ask you something?
RockerDude87: Shoot
GamerGuy42: What do you know about what happened with Adam and Gwen?
RockerDude87: Apparently he started seeing this freshman called Kaylie and liked her better so he dumped Gwen
He was with some other girl for the past couple of weeks so I wanted to confirm my suspicions
GamerGuy42: Really?
RockerDude87: Yeah pretty messed up
RockerDude87: Classic Adam
GamerGuy42: Still pretty fucked up though
Gwen definitely changed, she was more reserved and wore more hoodies, even if it was hot
RockerDude87: Yeah but what can you do
GamerGuy42: Right, anyways, meet me at the cafeteria tomorrow I’ll give you the paper
RockerDude87: Thanks dude
GamerGuy42 has signed off
2006
November
PinkGoddess has signed on
PinkGoddess: Hey Linda!
AngelicDreamer has signed on
AngelicDreamer: What’s up?
PinkGoddess: Why were you with Oswald outside of class?
AngelicDreamer: It is kinda private Gwen I don’t think he would want me to spill it
PinkGoddess: I was his BFF so I think I should know
AngelicDreamer: You were…
PinkGoddess: What do you mean?
AngelicDreamer: You were his best friend. But not anymore
PinkGoddess: Dude I’m not fucking around and tell me
AngelicDreamer: It’s not that big of a deal just some stuff about his ex and family
PinkGoddess: Let me guess… His mom cheated again and his ex broke up with him?
AngelicDreamer: Nope. His dad cheated and his ex hates him now
PinkGoddess: Oh
PinkGoddess: Well
PinkGoddess: I’ve listened to some of the stuff he’s told me so just comfort him. Don’t remind him of his problems, it’s why he goes to friends. To forget
AngelicDreamer: Noted
Linda told me about her conversation with Gwen which made me think Gwen wanted to talk again so I felt like it was time for us to talk again but not yet. I wasn’t really ready because I knew if we did, we would never talk again
AngelicDreamer has signed off
2008
January
GamerGuy42 has signed on
GamerGuy42: Hey
PinkGoddess has signed on
PinkGoddess: Hey
GamerGuy42: Long time no see
PinkGoddess: IKR
PinkGoddess: IDK if you heard but me and Adam are done
GamerGuy42: Oh sorry to hear that. I saw him with someone else so I kinda figures
PinkGoddess: Yeah
GamerGuy42: You think we could talk?
PinkGoddess: Yeah sure
GamerGuy42: Gwen IK it’s been a long time but I’m so sorry about what happened between us. I didn’t mean to act like that
PinkGoddess: It’s cool Oswald. I should have listened to you
GamerGuy42: It doesn’t matter what I was right about all that matters is we’re okay
PinkGoddess: We’re good dude
PinkGoddess: Sorry for cutting you off BTW
GamerGuy42: Haha no worries, I deserved it
GamerGuy42: So are we friends again?
The weight of that question was still present even after I asked it, I dreaded what she was going to say next. I didn’t want to accept the impending answer but maybe I could be wrong?
PinkGoddess: I don’t know, it’s been like 2 yrs? It just wouldn’t feel the same
PinkGoddess: I’ve grown out of being a drunk and stuff I just want to focus on my shit now
She was leaving during the summer to go to a charter school, I didn’t want her to go
GamerGuy42: That’s good! I’m proud you were able to grow as a person
PinkGoddess: Thanks
GamerGuy42: IG you’re right. Too much time has passed it’s not easy just to pretend nothing has happened between us
I didn’t want to go along with it, I wanted us to be friends again. Like the good old times
PinkGoddess: Yeah it just wouldn’t feel right, I’m sorry
GamerGuy42: Don’t be
GamerGuy42: I’m just so dumb
GamerGuy42: I’m so conflicted RN
We were supposed to be best friends. Part of me wants to blame her for not taking my advice multiple times but was it my fault too? Someone had to be blamed
PinkGoddess: Why?
GamerGuy42: I’m repeating the situation inside me my head and I just wonder
GamerGuy42: Would things have been different if acted differently? If I was more patient with you would we still be hanging out during lunch?
GamerGuy42: Would we still be friends?
PinkGoddess: I’d like to think so. We were so compatible with our different personalities it was almost illegal
PinkGoddess: Our friendship would have lasted longer
PinkGoddess: A lot of things would have lasted longer
GamerGuy42: Yeah, I messed up big time. I blame myself for losing all those years together
GamerGuy42: IDK dude I feel so lost without you, like I don’t have that anchor
GamerGuy42: I miss you
PinkGoddess: Don’t blame yourself, I didn’t listen. You were just being real
PinkGoddess: I forgive you Oswald
GamerGuy42: Thanks Gwen, I’ll always love you and wish you the best
GamerGuy42: Always
PinkGoddess: Same here
PinkGoddess: I’m not mad at you for what happened
PinkGoddess: People grow apart. Fights or no fights
PinkGoddess: That’s what high school prepares us for
PinkGoddess: Letting go
GamerGuy42: You really became a philosopher
PinkGoddess: LOL IG
PinkGoddess: But remember, you will always be someone I care for and appreciate
It took me a long time to come to terms with what she said and how we ended everything. It is never easy to end a friendship especially when you have known this person for so long. The best thing we could both do in this situation was to learn from our mistakes and move on. It’s all we could’ve done
GamerGuy42: I needed this Gwen
GamerGuy42: I love you
PinkGoddess: I love you too
GamerGuy42 has signed off
PinkGoddess has signed off
It's been years since I've spoken to Gwen, and I still find myself thinking about her from time to time. Our friendship was strong, but it ended so unexpectedly. Looking back, I realize now that our friendship was not immune to the natural thing called life. I wrote this nonfiction piece as a cautionary tale for anyone who might be taking their friendships for granted. Friendships are fragile and can end at any moment, whether you are in control or not. Life can take unexpected turns, and sometimes we have to say goodbye to people we thought we would be friends with forever.
I do want to clarify that the nonfiction piece I wrote with the elements of chat logs, names, and years were not real. But, everything that happened between Gwen and me was very real. The people in this story were real, the emotions were all real.
I wish things had turned out differently, but I also know that everything happens for a reason.
I hope that anyone who reads my story will take the time to appreciate their friendships and not take them for granted. Life is unpredictable, sometimes the only thing we can do is cherish the people we have while we have them.
I hope to see her again one day.